Have been feeling off for the past couple of days. I find that I am easily irritated and tired all the time. I have absolutely no energy to do anything.
Last night, I practical commandeered my hubby and older daughter who is 8yrs old into the kitchen to prepare dinner.
I feel sick all the time and cannot drink water as I don't like the way it tastes?!!. I have resorted to tonic and soda water in the meantime. Anything sweet is definitely a no-no for me now.
I haven't mentioned anything to my boss yet, I'm waiting till at least four months if possible. It's just too much hassle having to get up at 6am to get to work on time. It takes me one and a half hours to get to work and I am stuck inside the tube with no fresh air and packed like sardines in a tin, and having to endure mannerless people who either cough or sneeze in your face or else step on your feet or stick their bags at you while pretending they don't know what they are doing.
The weather is not helping issues at all, its freezing and today i had to stand in the cold with the wind and all while the trains delayed which made me late for work. If i had known I was going to spend an extra 45mins in the cold, I would had an extra lie-in.
Monday 4 February 2008
Wednesday 30 January 2008
Summary of the Day
Nothing much happened today. I had to take time off to go to Anglia Ruskin University for an interview. I had applied earlier to do a CIPD course with them. I was told I would be starting this February but I'm a bit worried that I may not cope with travelling to Chelmsford for my lessons, completing my Sage accounting course and the baby at the same time. More over, I'm also considering where the fees will come from Although Honey said he was going to pay for it but still, so much is happening all at once.
I just prayed about it all on the train back and committed everything into God's hands to just sort it all out.
I came back home and suddenly had this very painful waist pain that I couldn't even stand straight. I suspect its from my old epidural acting up cos I had to walk a long way.
I think that's just about it and just by the way, I am cooking egusi soup with kpanla for dinner yippee!!
I just prayed about it all on the train back and committed everything into God's hands to just sort it all out.
I came back home and suddenly had this very painful waist pain that I couldn't even stand straight. I suspect its from my old epidural acting up cos I had to walk a long way.
I think that's just about it and just by the way, I am cooking egusi soup with kpanla for dinner yippee!!
Tuesday 29 January 2008
Six weeks and counting
Still getting used to the idea of being pregnant. Found out 2 weeks ago and just prayed that I wasn't going to have another miscarriage.
Still a bit worried but trusting God that everything was okay.
I have decided to write about this pregnancy and right through to the birth of baby, so come with me on this epic journey and find out what happens.
I promise to be as truthful and honest as I can without putting at risk my family. I pray that at the end of this journey, we will all rejoice and be happy with the end result.
I didn't write much last year but will do my best to remedy that.
This being my third and last pregnancy, I intend to enjoy it as much as I can, and pray that I don't get sick. I know my stomach will show earlier than usual seeing as I already have a bulge from the previous babies. I had a Cesarean with my two girls so no surprises how this baby will be born.
I don't really have any symptoms yet, except for the headaches and the funny taste in my mouth that makes me want to put something in it. I also feel queasy all through the day and sleepy as hell. My husband says to carry a sick bag in case I need to throw up.
I saw the doctor last Friday and he's sent off a letter for my first midwife appointment, so that's good.
Message of the day
Untangle the Knots...One Day at a Time
by Joyce Meyer
Picture your life as a jumble of shoestrings all tied up in knots, each shoestring a different color. The different shoestrings represent the different elements of your life, such as your family, your job, etc. This jumble of knots could represent many of our lives—with everything all knotted up. Each knot represents a problem, and the process of untangling those knots and straightening out those problems is going to take a bit of time and effort.
It took a long time to tie all those knots, and it will take some time to straighten them all out. I realize from my own experience that it often seems no progress is being made. You may feel you have so many problems that you are getting absolutely nowhere. However, you must keep in mind that even though you have a long way to go, you have also come a long way. The solution is to thank God for the progress you have made thus far, and trust Him to lead you to eventual healing—one day at a time.
One of our problems is that in our modern, instantaneous society we tend to jump from one thing to another. We have come to expect everything to be quick and easy. It’s difficult for us to have the patience to stick with a problem until we see a breakthrough, and that’s why we need God’s help. You see, God never gets in a hurry. He never quits or runs out of patience. He will deal with us about one particular thing, and then He will let us rest for a while—but not too long. Soon He will come back and begin to work on something else. He will continue until, one by one, our knots are all untied.
If it sometimes seems that you’re not making any progress, it’s because the Lord is untying your knots one at a time. It may be hard, and it may take time, but if you will commit yourself to the process of getting well, sooner or later you will see victory in your life and experience the freedom you have wanted for so long. In some things I experienced freedom in a few months or a year, but there was one area in my life that took fourteen long years to overcome. The important thing to remember is, no matter how long it takes, never give up, and never quit—keep at it.
Maybe you’re standing in the way of your own healing. Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I really want to get well?” Did you know there are people who really don’t want to get well? It takes some people years to overcome their problems…and some never do. They don’t really want to move past their problems. It seems they’ve become accustomed to having those problems around, and they’re just content to live with them.
Sometimes people actually get addicted to having problems. It becomes their identity—their life. It defines everything they think, say and do. Their life seems to revolve around their problems. If you have a deep-seated and lingering disorder, you may be tempted to make that the focal point of your life. But I encourage you not to give in to that temptation. If you do, it will try to control your thinking and dominate every conversation you have. Don’t let your life be taken over by your problems.
If you really want to get well, you’ll have to stop using your problem as a means of getting attention, sympathy or pity. When I used to complain to my husband, he would tell me, “Joyce, I’m not going to feel sorry for you.” “I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me,” I would protest. “Yes, you are,” he would say. “And I’m not going to do it, because if I do, you will never get over your problems.” That used to make me so mad I could have beaten him to a pulp. We get angry with those who tell us the truth. And the truth is that before we can get well, we must really want to be well—body, soul and spirit. We must want to get well badly enough that we are willing to hear and accept the truth about our situation.
Make a vow right now that from this moment on you are not going to waste any more of your valuable time feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in self-pity over things you cannot change. Promise yourself that you’ll stop using your problem as a crutch in your life. Instead, pledge that you will untangle the knots a little at a time, while living each day to the fullest, looking forward to what God has in store for you as you follow Him…one day at a time.
by Joyce Meyer
Picture your life as a jumble of shoestrings all tied up in knots, each shoestring a different color. The different shoestrings represent the different elements of your life, such as your family, your job, etc. This jumble of knots could represent many of our lives—with everything all knotted up. Each knot represents a problem, and the process of untangling those knots and straightening out those problems is going to take a bit of time and effort.
It took a long time to tie all those knots, and it will take some time to straighten them all out. I realize from my own experience that it often seems no progress is being made. You may feel you have so many problems that you are getting absolutely nowhere. However, you must keep in mind that even though you have a long way to go, you have also come a long way. The solution is to thank God for the progress you have made thus far, and trust Him to lead you to eventual healing—one day at a time.
One of our problems is that in our modern, instantaneous society we tend to jump from one thing to another. We have come to expect everything to be quick and easy. It’s difficult for us to have the patience to stick with a problem until we see a breakthrough, and that’s why we need God’s help. You see, God never gets in a hurry. He never quits or runs out of patience. He will deal with us about one particular thing, and then He will let us rest for a while—but not too long. Soon He will come back and begin to work on something else. He will continue until, one by one, our knots are all untied.
If it sometimes seems that you’re not making any progress, it’s because the Lord is untying your knots one at a time. It may be hard, and it may take time, but if you will commit yourself to the process of getting well, sooner or later you will see victory in your life and experience the freedom you have wanted for so long. In some things I experienced freedom in a few months or a year, but there was one area in my life that took fourteen long years to overcome. The important thing to remember is, no matter how long it takes, never give up, and never quit—keep at it.
Maybe you’re standing in the way of your own healing. Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I really want to get well?” Did you know there are people who really don’t want to get well? It takes some people years to overcome their problems…and some never do. They don’t really want to move past their problems. It seems they’ve become accustomed to having those problems around, and they’re just content to live with them.
Sometimes people actually get addicted to having problems. It becomes their identity—their life. It defines everything they think, say and do. Their life seems to revolve around their problems. If you have a deep-seated and lingering disorder, you may be tempted to make that the focal point of your life. But I encourage you not to give in to that temptation. If you do, it will try to control your thinking and dominate every conversation you have. Don’t let your life be taken over by your problems.
If you really want to get well, you’ll have to stop using your problem as a means of getting attention, sympathy or pity. When I used to complain to my husband, he would tell me, “Joyce, I’m not going to feel sorry for you.” “I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me,” I would protest. “Yes, you are,” he would say. “And I’m not going to do it, because if I do, you will never get over your problems.” That used to make me so mad I could have beaten him to a pulp. We get angry with those who tell us the truth. And the truth is that before we can get well, we must really want to be well—body, soul and spirit. We must want to get well badly enough that we are willing to hear and accept the truth about our situation.
Make a vow right now that from this moment on you are not going to waste any more of your valuable time feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in self-pity over things you cannot change. Promise yourself that you’ll stop using your problem as a crutch in your life. Instead, pledge that you will untangle the knots a little at a time, while living each day to the fullest, looking forward to what God has in store for you as you follow Him…one day at a time.
Wednesday 23 May 2007
Saturday 12 May 2007
Week round-up
Hi everyone,
its been a roller coaster week for me. Busy busy busy. My husband had his grad party and we had to sort out details regarding the party.
The grad was boring but the party afterwards was fun. Everyone had a great time if i might say so. the drinks were flowing and the food as well as the conversations. People stayed till late and by the time we cleared the place, it was past midnight and the only problem I had was i had to work the next day as it was still the middle of the week.
I felt so tired I just wanted to go back to sleep but man needs the dough to survive in this harsh land, so I had to go.
I had a chance to get to know my white neighbors better and apart from a few worries, they sound ok. Now as per being a 9ja mama, if person tell you say them be manic depressive, you cross your self and say blood of Jesus. Oh boy na so my neighbour talk say make i dey watch am so that anytime she looks sad I should try and bring her out of it. Who born pickin! lai lai, abi na me and you follow comot the same time. I don't want to be saddled with that now cos you never know what you might say that will just piss her off and people go talk say na you kill am. A beg oh, I no dey at all. The other wan talk say she carry her husband ash put for her back garden for top of tree and hopes that I don't mind if tends to scatter her garden and the wind blows it over to my side. Chineke me oh, God help which kin neighbours be dis now? why Ino get handsome rich dude as neighbour. Wetin I do to deserve this.
Anyways, all in all it seems like a pretty good neighbourhood and the schools are nicer than inner city ones and now I have a garden!! whoopee!!. Calm and Mischief have their own rooms and I get to have hubby to myself when I feel like it.
its been a roller coaster week for me. Busy busy busy. My husband had his grad party and we had to sort out details regarding the party.
The grad was boring but the party afterwards was fun. Everyone had a great time if i might say so. the drinks were flowing and the food as well as the conversations. People stayed till late and by the time we cleared the place, it was past midnight and the only problem I had was i had to work the next day as it was still the middle of the week.
I felt so tired I just wanted to go back to sleep but man needs the dough to survive in this harsh land, so I had to go.
I had a chance to get to know my white neighbors better and apart from a few worries, they sound ok. Now as per being a 9ja mama, if person tell you say them be manic depressive, you cross your self and say blood of Jesus. Oh boy na so my neighbour talk say make i dey watch am so that anytime she looks sad I should try and bring her out of it. Who born pickin! lai lai, abi na me and you follow comot the same time. I don't want to be saddled with that now cos you never know what you might say that will just piss her off and people go talk say na you kill am. A beg oh, I no dey at all. The other wan talk say she carry her husband ash put for her back garden for top of tree and hopes that I don't mind if tends to scatter her garden and the wind blows it over to my side. Chineke me oh, God help which kin neighbours be dis now? why Ino get handsome rich dude as neighbour. Wetin I do to deserve this.
Anyways, all in all it seems like a pretty good neighbourhood and the schools are nicer than inner city ones and now I have a garden!! whoopee!!. Calm and Mischief have their own rooms and I get to have hubby to myself when I feel like it.
Thursday 3 May 2007
Lady sings the blues
I am sitting here at my desk and my mind keeps going round and round at the things I need to deal with. Its the beginning of the month and I am broke already.
I keep wondering what happened to my pay check and I cannot seem to figure it out. I haven't bought any thing new yet i don't know where the money has gone.
All the things I need to do has to do with money so where am I going to get that from.
Hubby came back from his trip and no show at all. Either that or he is lying about it.
What is it with men that they can't just come clean yet they want the women to be honest with them.
I just feel as if he doesn't trust me enough to tell me what he actually earned on this trip. I know I'm not the best money manager but ....
I have decided that I am not happy with my marriage but I can't seem to figure out what to do.
This was not the way I imagined my life to be. I get no support from hubby for the things i want to do yet he expects me to support him in his. Which year is he living in.
I refuse to be dragged back to the days when hubby's word was law. I will not allow him to do that to me.
My kids Calm and mischief are the only joy I have in my life right now. I can sit and watch them for hours, especially mischief and not get tired.
I'm just so worn out that I think I am actually numb.
Anyway i just don't feel like working today so me thinks that I have to call it a day in an hour's time.
Although having put down how I feel actually has made me feel a bit better now.
I keep wondering what happened to my pay check and I cannot seem to figure it out. I haven't bought any thing new yet i don't know where the money has gone.
All the things I need to do has to do with money so where am I going to get that from.
Hubby came back from his trip and no show at all. Either that or he is lying about it.
What is it with men that they can't just come clean yet they want the women to be honest with them.
I just feel as if he doesn't trust me enough to tell me what he actually earned on this trip. I know I'm not the best money manager but ....
I have decided that I am not happy with my marriage but I can't seem to figure out what to do.
This was not the way I imagined my life to be. I get no support from hubby for the things i want to do yet he expects me to support him in his. Which year is he living in.
I refuse to be dragged back to the days when hubby's word was law. I will not allow him to do that to me.
My kids Calm and mischief are the only joy I have in my life right now. I can sit and watch them for hours, especially mischief and not get tired.
I'm just so worn out that I think I am actually numb.
Anyway i just don't feel like working today so me thinks that I have to call it a day in an hour's time.
Although having put down how I feel actually has made me feel a bit better now.
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